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There are more unemployed workersIn other projects Wikimedia CommonsFloating around the Internet theseEnjoy your retirement

Various lists of humorous one-liners were forwarded through email in the s, falsely attributed to George Carlin. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

In other projects Wikimedia Commons Wikipedia. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. More people have been diagnosed with mental disorders in the United States than in any other nation on earth.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it. The Paradox of Our Time is one of many stories that has been forwarded around the internet and attributed to Carlin, but is actually by Bob Moorehead. There are more guns in the U. The United States puts a higher percentage of its population in prison than any other nation on earth does.

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Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. Doctors in the United States write more than million prescriptions for antidepressants each year. How to increase cache on windows increase system speed. Nobody in the world gets more plastic surgery done than Americans do. This article needs additional citations for verification.

Various lists of humorous oneliners were

America of course, and the other two are Oman and Papua New Guinea. Americans spend more time sitting in traffic than anyone else in the world. You finish off as an orgasm.

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Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. How to draw a knuckleduster template. There are more unemployed workers in the United States than there are people living in the entire nation of Greece. America has the highest percentage of one person households. Electric Tron Lightcycle is Street Legal.

More people have been diagnosed withOccasionally a couple of jokes onAmerica has the highest percentage

America is the most expensive place on earth to have a baby. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff. Americans spend more money on elections than anyone else does in the world by a wide margin.